Working Parents -- Start Asking The Tough Questions In School

Why are people so afraid to ask questions? Okay, let me rephrase...why are parents so afraid to ask questions? Is it because they don't know the questions to ask, don't want to hear the answers, or are reluctant to question people with expertise they may not have?

This question isn't being posed as something simply to consider, but is being directed in particular to working parents with a child who is struggling in school. The fact is that while most are truly desperate for knowledge, many are reluctant to open the door to access answers. But before you say, "Hey...I ask plenty of questions," allow me to elaborate.

WHY THE HESITATION?

If you're a working parent, you're already up to your neck with work/life challenges, particularly if you have a child with, for example, Asperger's Syndrome or a learning disability. You're struggling to figure out what to do (i.e. what interventions or therapies are appropriate), who should do it (i.e. should you push for these services in school or secure them privately), and how to balance it all (i.e. workplace demands and family responsibilities). It's a boatload of pressure any way you slice it.

But here's where the "questions" issue comes to a head. Too many of you are reluctant to ask the psychologist who just completed your child's comprehensive testing to explain the results and data in "lay language" so you can understand it. A 35-page report and you can't decipher much of it. You're reluctant to ask your child's tutor (who you're paying for) to show you exactly what skills are being addressed. You're hesitant to ask your child's teacher for data to support progress or to question things during your child's IEP meeting that are unclear or not making sense. And if you are asking, you're not asking the questions to yield the information you need.

Questions are not being asked when answers are needed most. Often times, it's because you see these people as "the experts," therefore it would be wrong, disrespectful, insulting, etc. to question them. But isn't this precisely what's needed? And aren't they asking you questions that may make you uncomfortable or push your boundaries? What's truly puzzling is this -- if you take a similar scenario into the business arena, you are likely fine with asking all kinds of questions and your hesitation to ask is minimal.

I'd like to suggest something here -- that you begin to approach your child's education like you do your work. In other words, ask yourself whether you're getting a return on your investment. Is your time (often measured by the hours you're spending away from work handling your child's needs or perhaps reducing your work schedule entirely) and your resources (tapping into savings or borrowing from family) yielding positive results? If you don't know the answer, you're not asking the tough questions.

Working parents who have children with special needs are mired in a "life mural" that requires unmatched work/life balance strategies. Confusion and feeling overwhelmed is commonplace. So what's the solution? Asking the tough questions of "the experts" and expecting clear answers. And continuing to ask questions if things remain unclear. This approach yields powerful results ... and isn't this exactly what you're looking for?